Where's the Beef?

So, as many of you know, as part of my 40 day Lenten sacrifice this year, I, Jenni Gregory, gave up meat and fried foods. Willingly. At first, it wasn't that big of a deal. Salmon one day, shrimp the next. Mix in some veggies, salads, cheese pizzas...whatever. I'm cool. But ohmygod! the longer this season of sacrifice goes on, the worse my cravings for meat get. In culinary school, I had a friend and fellow classmate that would always say, "Yes, but can you make it savory?" Pastries, cakes, breads, drinks, whatever it was that was intended to be sweet, Carlos wanted to make it savory. Now, I find myself wondering something similar. "Yes, but can you make it with meat? And can it be fried?" I've never had a strong relationship with meat. I could take it or leave it most days. You have to understand that 1) I grew up on a farm. We raised cattle. They were family to me. I named them, I fed them, I loved them. 2) The few encounters I had with steak were abismal at best. (Sorry Mom) For starters, any kind of steak preceded by the words "skirt" or "flank" are not steaks. They each have their time and place, but are not true steaks. And I'm pretty sure that, no matter what part of the cow you cut the meat from, it was never meant to wail in a cake pan, in an oven with a temperature setting of "hell". The burnt, chewy bits that clanked on the plate at the dinner table were a huge turn off...no matter how much A-1 you slathered on them. I don't think I truly knew what a nice piece of filet tasted like until I was in college. What about chicken, you ask? Yeah, let's talk about that for a minute. We raised those on the farm too. We hated them. For one thing, they smell. Bad! I remember going to feed them every afternoon when I came home from school. Those bastards were mean! You would think that we never fed them or something. As they impatiently waited for me to throw their food out to them (okay, yeah, i threw it at them) they would incessantly peck away at my toes. Yeah, so it was my choice to wear flip flops in the chicken coup, but still. My toes were not pellets of food to those clucking devils. And have you ever tried to curl your toes up under your feet as you ran for your life? I never was happier than when I slammed the gate shut to the chicken coup, looked back at the chickens, and shouted out, "Better luck tomorrow suckas!" So, the very long answer to the short question...I have no problems eating chicken. Deep frying them is my silent song of victory. My cravings have begun to find me in my sleep. Last night, I dreamt of beef lollipops, beef stuffed beef tenderloin, topped with a sweet red wine meat sauce served with a side of deep fried meat, followed by a dessert of meat cake and meat pudding...all being chased down to my belly with some meat tea. I WANT SOME MEAT!!! One more week. ...Sigh...